I Make Fun Of Oliver Cromwell In My Image Gallery July 16th

GarbageCo. Burr Grinder Instruction Manual July 6th

The Top 5 Badass Literary Figures July 3rd

Okay, so that was more than a week. Internet Explorer tried harder than I had anticipated to ravage my web design with its cruel, throbbing [misinterpretation of CSS standards]. If you don't see any graphics, please look at the bottom of the about page.

I originally felt I had a strict mandate to do two things here:

1.) Talk only about movies, to distinguish myself from all the rambling-about-your-day blogs, and
2.) Refrain from profanity, excessively caustic humor, and generally anything where I might be offensive and therefore potentially funny.

The stuff I was trying to avoid crept in anyway, so all I had was some writing that wasn't as funny as it could be and wasn't thoroughly employer-friendly either. So you know what? The hell with it.

Hey, employers: I can write a lot of things. Just because I bring up dicks when I'm writing about famous literary figures doesn't mean that if you hire me to write proposals, I'm going to forget where I am and start writing about dicks in the margins. I have the unwavering poise and self-control of a seasoned professional, and I own several ties.

No I wasn't! But I have been busy redesigning (and in some cases rewriting) much of what is here right now. I'll be done within a week, at which time I intend to have some things like organization and features and such.

I'm surprised; I actually do like how this is going to look.

So I've been meaning to start a webcomic for a long time now, and when I say I've been meaning to, I don't mean that I mutter something about it under my breath and then go back to playing Mario Kart. I actually have over 50 of these written up, and maybe three or four of them are actually good. The problem--and it's a considerable impediment to drawing a webcomic--is that I can't draw a webcomic. So there's that. Factor in the general listlessness and ennui that characterizes modern existence, and it's a fucking wonder I get out of bed at all. But then sometimes I don't, so I guess it's not that much of a wonder.

Regardless, here's Corona, one half of my dramaturgical dyad.

http://www.simulacri.com/Corona.jpg